Miriam Ben-Natan

Yom Kippur 5767

How Jewish Practice Adds Meaning to My Life

It is a particular pleasure to speak with you on this day of reflection as the Jewish practice I will address is that of Torah Study – a practice that for me is based in reflection followed by introspection and then action.

When Rabbi Marder invited me to speak with you today, the first thing I did after telling my husband was call my sister in New York .  Simultaneously we said, “Can you imagine the smile Daddy would have on his face if he were still alive”.  Having been brought up in an orthodox home, attending yeshiva, walking to synagogue every Saturday as a child, with my hand placed securely inside my Father’s,  I was steeped in Jewish tradition.  However, study of Torah was more of a required learning task to me than anything else and often was coupled with making sure I had all my facts right in preparation for an exam.

 I have always been grateful to my parents for the foundation they instilled in me which clearly defined my roots.  I have also always been grateful to my parents for giving me the option of attending a public high school in answer to my thirst to learn more about a world out there which I new existed and about which I had great curiosity.  I often say, only partially in jest, that until I was thirteen, I thought the whole world was white and Jewish.

Fast forward to the year 2000 and we find my wonderful husband Rafi and I moving to northern California and introduced to Beth Am through new friends who have become very close friends of ours and who have been members of the congregation for many years.  The desire to meet people was great and we ultimately had the good fortune of becoming part of a newly formed chavura which has added much joy to our lives.  Just shy of a year ago, one of our good friends started to bring up their Torah study experiences practically every time we would meet and kept encouraging us to attend.  Our responses ranged from “Saturday morning at 9:15, I don’t think so” to “Did you forget you are speaking with my very secular husband”?  Well partially trusting them implicitly and partially to get them to stop hocking us, we decided to make a one time visit.  That was in the Fall of 2005 and we have never left. So as you see, the motivation was not very lofty, but oh my has it taken us to levels of introspection, exploration, questioning and motivation the likes of which neither one of us had experienced in any other setting.  Through Rabbi Marder’s skillful facilitation and the thoughtful questioning and commentary of the other participants in the group, we are guided to give pause and consideration to many facets of how we live our lives.  It becomes a connection with the scholars whose commentaries are quoted, a connection with the members of the group and a connection with one’s deepest feelings regarding morality, consideration for the community, for those in need and awareness and sensitivity to those who may have  been treated unfairly or overlooked.  Torah Study gives us guidelines on how to live our lives. 

It is an hour of enlightenment, of new and in some cases enhanced awareness and questioning, questioning, questioning.  Rabbi Abraham Joshua  Heschel stated “Wonder rather than doubt is the root of all knowledge." Whether one thinks of wonder in terms of awe/reverence – or questioning, wonder has certainly informed my experience with Torah Study.  So perhaps wonder is a good first step.

The experience is one that goes right to the core of my being.The challenge is always what to do with this enlightenment and awareness.  While it is stimulating and thought provoking to come and discuss our various philosophies on sometimes no more than one “pasuk”, one passage for the hour as there are so many varying opinions, the challenge for me is “Okay, what is the action plan?  How can I, how can we, make a difference within our community? How can I make a difference with even one person?  That is something I continue to work on and try to exercise every day with small actions like listening better, like paying more attention to the opportunities Beth Am offers with outreaches.   Torah study teaches us that this is an obligation. As we heard during this Yom Kippur observance, the responsibility for lifting up even one person in need at a time that is important to them, is not just the responsibility of the clergy, but the responsibility of each and every one of us.

 So, as your rest in peace my dearest Father, know that I finally understand that the study of Jewish text does not exist in a vacuum.For me one of the beauties of Torah Study is that it is an experience which reminds me of the portion of the Havdallah service which refers to separation:  Extinguishing the Havdallah candle, we recognize that we must make Shabbat special in order to truly distinguish it from the rest of the week.  Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheni Melech Hao’lam, hamavdil bein kodesh l’chol, bein or l’choshech. and it ends with bein yom hasvi’I l’sheishet y’mei hama’aseh. Baruch atah Adonai, hamavdil bein kodesh l’chol.  Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who distinguishes between sacred and ordinary, between light and darkness, between the seventh day and the six days of creation.

Torah Study, helps me distinguish between sacred and ordinary, between the other days of the week and Shabbat. Rabbi Maurice Lamm wrote:  “Torah is the most comprehensive term for the substance of Judaism. Torah is Teaching. Torah is Law”.  For me Torah Study is learning, and then reflecting on, the idea of Torah and its place in the life of the Jew.