Darrell Benatar

Yom Kippur 5767

This summer my wife and I and our three daughters traveled on our own to Israel. On the second day of our trip, we had an Israeli guide named Ben who picked us up in a van.  And as we traveled north from Tel Aviv towards Caesarea, Ben pointed out the sites and answered our questions. And as he spoke, it quickly became apparent that, though Ben was very knowledgeable, he lacked one ability that is crucial for a tour guide: the ability to drive and talk at the same time. You see, whenever Ben began talking, the speed of our van would drop dramatically and we would watch nervously as car after car passed us on both sides. As we silently prayed for our safety, Ben decided to confess something to us. He said, "I don't believe in the same Bible as others. The Bible I believe in starts with "In the beginning, man created God."

Those words stuck with me and I kept thinking about them. Did God create man, or did man create God? At first, the question seemed to be another way of asking "Is there really a God?" But then I started thinking about the question another way. "If man created God, does that make God any less real?" Maybe when we do Mitzvot or come together as a community, we're creating God. And maybe that's why God seems real sometimes but not others.

Every night before I kiss my daughters good night, we close our eyes and sing Shema. The prayer starts, Shema Yisrael which translates to "Listen Yisrael". Yisrael is the name Jacob took after he woke up from a dream in which he wrestled with the angels of God. "Yisrael" literally means "One who struggles." Shema Yisrael. "Listen, you who struggles with God." Well, that's me.

“Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Ehad” - Adonai means God, Ehad means one. So it's “God Elohenu, God one”.  Elohenu is the word used for God when we’re talking about our God, the God of all of us, everywhere.

So my translation is, “Shema Yisrael” - Listen, you who struggles with God – “Adonai Elohenu” - God is everywhere -  “Adonai Ehad” - God is One.

So when we sing the Shema, I close my eyes and really pay attention and I try, for just those few moments, first, to feel connected to everyone everywhere – “Adonai Elohenu” and then, to feel that we’re all one - “Adonai Ehad” .

Now my daughter Isabel is probably sitting there right now thinking, "What about the time you went to kiss us good night and you couldn't remember if we had sung Shema already?" Okay, it's true, sometimes I’m so distracted or so tired that I don't heed the call "Shema". But most of the time, I really do try to focus.

And when I do, there’s a pause in time where I get a little perspective and I feel calm – God is real in that moment. And when I kiss my kids goodnight, I feel connected to them and I feel gratitude for how much I love them.

They’re really good kids and my wife and I are fortunate to be able to be involved in their lives and to provide them with pretty much everything they need. But this can be a slippery slope towards having kids that think it’s all about them and who take it all for granted.

Thankfully, Judaism gives us opportunities to pause and be grateful.  One way our family does this is by coming together on Friday nights for Shabbat dinner. We have a special meal with fresh Challah. We light the candles, cover our eyes, and sing our prayers. And as we eat dinner, we go around the table, each saying a few things we’re thankful for.  It’s reassuring to hear my kids say they’re thankful to be healthy, to have good food to eat,  to have family and a safe home to live in. This often leads to discussions of how other, less fortunate people live, and how different life is for us today then it was for the generations that went before us.

The fresh Challah, the lighting of the candles, saying  our “thankfuls”, singing

Shema, and the special time we spend together, are all memories that each of us in our family will cherish.

And maybe we’re creating more than memories. Maybe we’re creating God. Just like it says in Ben’s bible.